note to self

the orchestra is playing
you can hear them beside me
like bedside manner, you see
you can feel me within my range
i am useless within this shell of mortality
but you see
i use to be a fearless writer
i use to be so much more within my own universe
oh so slowly, i become the sound within the brass
a shot around the globe off to the unrecognizable stars
and i ended up as miserable as can in front of the conductor
just wait, you’ll see
how far that underscore can leave you heavy
and closed captioned

my shadow brings me so far from the scene
i wish i could tell you everything
but you’ll see, how misunderstood reality can be
so i will hold this cotton and wool ever so closely
until everyone weaves in and out of disbelief
the symphony is finishing up the crescendo
and the bombast keeps blasting me into the present tense
i’m just flabby skin and an unfinished score
i’m just a bunch of mistakes formatted for your relatively painless ponzi scheme

the band has broken up
and i’m turning inside out for your soon to be up for lease concert hall
i am just a dangerous sociopath left for the zoo of platonic irrelevancy
convenience fee not included

here i go
once you see
i will be left for another land
less of freedom
and more mouthy monthly payments of forgiveness
word by quotable word
oh buy me in, into your giving bliss
i use to be so much, more… than a dollar bill
just fold me in half and you will see

i’m just the sound of you
and
me

ending